I've always told myself that I was going to go back and read my old xanga blogs and I finally did it. I sound a lot like I did in the past just less like a teeny bopper. Anyway, my blogs are from my middle school and beginning high school years. I've learned tons over the years what with all the heart break, losing friendships, different levels of education and so on. Even though I've wanted to kill myself a multiple number of times, I've enjoyed my life so far and still am.

So as for now, I'm finally legal. I have a wonderful boyfriend and TONS of great friends. My best friend is Rochelle and I can finally drive to places! I'm in my last year in high school and I hope to pursue a career a pediatric nursing w/ babies that have disabilites. If not that, I probably want to be a brain surgeon or something around there because I like dissecting and opening animals up. My appearance has definitely changed over the years. I'm not as skinny as before but I'm not fat. I've lost the glasses, the chapped lips, and the bell bottoms (skinny jeans only, please). I've become more of a girly-girl with all the getting my nails done, reading magazines, talking on the phone w/ my girl friends, wondering what to wear for long periods of time, shopping, and so much more. I still can't believe how much has changed throughout my life. It's amazing and sad.

And one GRRRREAT thing that has changed is that I don't always think of "killing myself" anymore. HAHA! I'm not as emo as I was back then which is wonderful.

My xanga is being a real dick with it's music and crap. So I'm putting this one song. Because of you. It's really... Cool. And it reminds me of you-already-know-but-I-don't-think-I-should-say-his-name-for-family-purposes dood. I mean, some of the music works, but only like one.. Err for me it does. Uhm.. I haven't blogged in a while, huh? What's there to say? Today's Friday the freaking 13th, I'm not superstitious, I'm freaking hot, school is almost over, I miss the old days with those Asians, I miss hanging out at Yunice's house with Yunie Paula and Mel, I lost my baby turtle, I have to clean the house, Mr. Kiely is a big dick, I have a major headache, I'm very tired, and I sadly forgot my homework at school! Oh gee. How gay. But anywho, today was actually great. Wonderful. Exciting. Jumpy. Funn. Gay. [In the good way of course] And so much more. I must be off. My head is being an ass.

I don't know where to start or how to begin. Things have been so gay these days. Gay as in a bad way. Thing look up but then all this time of thinking and stuff brings things down. The end of the school year is near and my grades still haven't gone up. It's stressing me out! But the more I thought about it, okay, so I'm taking summer school. And I will have to take Geometry over. I'm making up classes slowly. I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself. Eww. Why am I being so optimistic all of a sudden? Am I becoming gayer? I hope so. Haha! Geez. I just want to relax. I'm glad that my star testing days are over.. For this year at least. Thinking about the test I have to take to get into Algebra 2 is stressing me out even more! And taking finals again is something that I really do not want to do. I guess I have to go through all of this. But right now, I don't seem so worried. 'Cause sometimes the things people say get stuck in my head. Like.. Okay well I don't not listen to people when they are talking to me, but yeah. Some of the things people say stay with me for a really long time. I was talking about the summer and stuff with Albe and then he said something like "Don't think too much about the future. Just think about now." And that's when it hit me. Haha! I'm kidding! But seriously. That's why I'm not too worried about stuff. I'm just concentrating about the shiznit happening now. I'll worry about the worryable stuff later. Geez. I'm hungry. But there are visitors downstairs! I can't wait until school.